I trained as a coach back in 2012. It took me a year of getting up at 5am and working every evening and weekend, alongside a full time job. It took all my focus… I was in a bubble. I had to write big old dissertations and complete almost 40 sessions, three of which were accessed by an examiner. I read a huge amount of books, stacked…they were almost the same height as me. I continue my learning and will always remain a huge advocate of self development.
I was speaking earlier in the week about Facebook marketing. I had to make some changes and turn off some notifications. I was being bombarded by ‘Living your best life’ ‘High vibe tribe’ I was being asked to ‘jump in’ ‘step up’ ‘reach out’ ‘take the plunge’… sometimes it sounds like an 80s fitness class. I had to take some time out and think about what I wanted…
Going to the next level in the self development world is often to be assumed to be the 6 figure/ 7 figure income. Or first class travel. Or working from a beach. Or the red soled shoes. And yes to a certain extent I am keen on all of these and here’s why:
Money: I want to charge well for what I do. I want to have options and the freedom to say yes or no. I have a young child to support. I live in London, one of the most expensive cities in the world. Feeling ‘poor’ blocks any creativity and plays with my mindset and self belief. A lack of consistent income slows down the process.
However to be honest, I don’t want to share my figures with you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable….like showing you my bottom…when you haven’t asked to see it.
Also there is so much fuzziness around these statements of 6/7 figures…is it profit? Is it predicted income? Is it cash? It is money that has now come in but is going to pay of the credit card where you ‘invested’ 6/7 figures. In truth….what does it mean?!
First class travel is dreamy. Gorgeous food, a flat bed, champagne and hopefully a luxe destination at the end. Yes please. However as someone who doesn’t get on a plane regularly, it is not a ‘goal’ that is on my priority.
Working from the beach: I love the beach and swimming in the sea but to risk sounding all pale, ginger and Northern…’But it doesn’t like me’ Yes I can hear Peter Kay too.
For me beaches are for snoozing and switching off or playing with my boys. They are not for working…the screen situation…the sand EVERYWHERE situation…the sun cream conundrum. It’s too much. Plus the outfit situation…don’t get me started.
Red soled shoes. I love them. In fact I love shoes. However since having a baby (a) my core strength and sense of physical balance is not what it was and (b) there I very few occasions when I need a killer heel.
My point for discussing this is that everything has their own hopes and dreams. Yours are not mine. There may be some similarities but ultimately you will have your unique version….kind of like Christmas. The shops and adverts may sell us one version but that is the overall glossy ‘Christmas scene’ They don’t describe the nuances e.g the annual turkey sandwich debate, the food coma sleeps and competitive games…maybe because how could they? They don’t know what you know.
I know there is a lot of noise online and I contribute to it. There are a lot of clever marketing copy that lures you in and pressures you to want certain things and if you haven’t got those things somehow you are failing.
You are not. You are wonderful. You are exactly where you need to be. Plus sometimes we are not 'living our best life' we are surviving; dealing with pain, loss, hurt, failure and uncertainty.
Going to the next level and ‘success’ for me does feature some of the above but also:
Having a fridge full of mega food and drinks that I can share around our table with friends and families.
Having more time off but still earning money passively
Building a team
Less clock watching
Being able to buy our dream house.
Plus many more…
It’s different for everyone. Ultimately of course it is wonderful to have the ‘big ticks’ in place but what about the everyday stuff? What does that mean for you?