What would happen if I became a contestant on Masterchef...

Anyone else a little bit obsessed with Masterchef? I love it. It is brilliant… I am so familiar with it, I almost think I could go on…or maybe not.

In reality, here’s what would happen:

1) I would be immediately outed that I have to use every pot and pan and my knife skills are quite shabby but enthusiastic.

2) I may be so impressed with myself when I made something delicious that I may accidentally eat it all before I served it. ‘Hmmm, yes John and Greg, it WAS nice and I DID balance the flavours beautifully.

3) I may cry if I was shouted out in the kitchen. I can cope with pressure but not when someone is bellowing ‘Come on come on come on’

4) People would know that I stick my tongue out to the side when I am in mega concentration mode…you would see this too when I was placing a tiny cube of beetroot gel onto the plate with tweezers…

Perhaps entry for 2020 may be a little too eager… plus I will have had a baby by then…probably not the best combination.

But in all seriousness, it does make me cook more. I knocked up a pretty great curry yesterday and it welcomed all the smug feels.

Sometimes social media or the media in general can make us assume that all the spots are taken…every idea has been done already, the market is saturated or people have had enough of x, y and z. Or we have to be the best in our field otherwise we can’t do it at all. Not true.

It is unlikely that I am going to be a Masterchef champion but I can still enjoy cooking, eating and improving our skills.

Plus people may be waiting for your flavour.

Over the next few days, I want to set you a challenge. I want to encourage you to make small incremental steps towards improving…

What you improve or focus on is entirely up to you. But the key is not to overwhelm yourself…just start with one thing.

So if you want to improve sales, how could you do this?

If you want to become more consistent, how could you create a process to support this?

If you want to make some bold moves which are out of your comfort zone how could you set yourself up for taking action even though, it feels scary.


5 Things I have learnt about feedback

We all have opinions. I have plenty of my own. However I know when it may be ok to share them and when it wouldn’t be. 

One of the most common obstacles my clients face is ‘What will people think?’ It’s a fair comment. So many of us have a driver of ‘I want to make my friends and family proud’. 

From an early age, we can be labelled and pigeon holed… due to our physical appearance, our intelligence, our interests, our attitudes, where we fall in our family or other people’s expectations. 

From a young age, I had a great sense of self; however quite often I felt stifled as so many people around me had a different set of interests and values. 

As an actor, I learnt pretty quickly that feedback, ‘honesty’ (often without kindness) and rejection would be part of the job. I have found a way to dance with it but it still pokes you in the eye sometimes. 

As a ‘personal brand’ I have learnt how to manoeuvre the ‘being brave at putting myself because I know I can do a great job’ vs ‘What happens if they say no because there is someone better’. 

Ultimately my ‘You’ve got to be in it to win it’ mantra bellows loudly so for the most part I have to send the email :) Plus my skills, expertise, experience and testimonials speak for themselves. Sometimes you have you read your own testimonials you know… :)

Here are five things I know about feedback: 

1) It is always going to be there to a greater or lesser degree. Some is going to be said to your face. Some behind your back. You can’t control what comes out of people’s mouths. Only your own and your reaction going forward. 

2) Question the source of the feedback and are they the expert? Both pregnancies I have been told ‘I look huge’ and then five minutes later that ‘I don’t look pregnant at all.’ These are passing comments. Unless they are being said by a medical professional who knows me and my situation, I simply have to smile. 

3) Be discerning about when and how much you share. A few years back, I used to get really excited about ideas and throw them into the conversation. Sometimes they were just a seed of an idea. Much of the idea hasn’t been figured out yet. However I left myself open to questions, doubts from others, judgement and logistical queries. All of this got in the way of creation mode, which is such an important part of the process. I have to be in control of any potential leaks. I don't want an idea to dilute too quickly. 

4) Most people are not paying much attention, they have too much going on in their own lives. There will be a small proportion that are paying every attention. I read a quote recently which I am afraid I can’t remember accurately…it was something along the lines of ‘Those who judge you will always be doing less than you, those who are doing more will always encourage you’ Apologies for the hashed together version, but I hope you get my drift. 

5) Finally not everyone is going to get you and what you are doing. In fact, you changing your lifestyle, your habits, your hopes, your dreams and your boundaries may be very triggering and annoying for some people. This may show itself in less invitations, clicky behaviour where there is unsaid exclusion, or a passive aggressive comment or a loud disinterest in what you may hold very close to your heart. Please don’t let any of this slow you down, alter your path, question your abilities or ignore your instincts. The next chapter is waiting for you. 

Being vague delays progress

C L A R I T Y

Do you remember that moment when you finally saved up enough pocket money to buy that thing you’d had your eye on for yonks? The extra bouncy trainers? The strong selection of fluorescent scrunchies (perfect for stacking!) or the strong smelling bubble bath from the Body Shop that made everyone in your house smell of tangerines. 

I remember saving up for some crimpers. Yes it was the 80s. The brand was Babyliss. The girl with the crimped hair in the advert looks liked she was having so much fun as she met her pals down the street. I was sold. 

Crimpers

I clutched my money and headed to Boots in Meadowhall in Sheffield and made a beeline for them. I didn’t get distracted, I knew the exact ones. They were there waiting for me. I crimped/ singed my hair as soon as I got home. Before long, everyone I met was a guinea pig and they left my sights with slightly frazzled hair. The return customers (non paying) even got to borrow one of the aforementioned fluorescent stacking scrunchies. 




So often I hear a lack of clarity…’I don’t mind’ ‘You choose’ ‘We’ll just have to see what happens’ ‘I’ll just cross my fingers’. ‘Whatever you think” That sense of limbo of waiting on someone’s decision can take up a lot of energy. 




What would it feel like to put all that energy into clarity, direction and focus. 




I would love what is important to you right now. If you could state your preferred outcome now, what would it look like? Where are you being vague? 


PODCAST: 'Making, handling, optimising money and why it isn't all about creativity' Mini Episode Twenty

Mini episode 20 is now live and I’m talking about money. I am not a financial advisor or accountant, however I am very passionate about talking about money. Mainly because I feel we are not educated about it. How to make it, grow it and sustain it. I know you may not want to listen to this one as money is such an emotive topic but it will help you set your year up going forward.

Listen to the full episode here:

PODCAST: '10 Practical ways to get into creative mode without self doubt and procrastination' Mini Episode Seventeen

New podcast episode 🎧

I loved making this one. At this time of year, we can all feel a pressure to do more and be more. For me to gain clarity I need quiet time. I have never done an assault course in my life as it would be make me cry as I hate being bellowed at. For me to do my best work I have to slow down. 
There are ten practical steps. I hope you find them useful. 

A slightly ranty, alternative Christmas

An alternative, slightly ranty Christmas story... Today I have been asked by three different women whether I was ready for Christmas. When I said no and stated that I hadn’t done anything... I received looks of horror, distain and panic. 'I finished two weeks ago...glad it is all out of the way' was one of the replies. 

Now I know Christmas is a busy time of year and it is good to be organised, however it is only November. Of course, I want to create and be part of a lovely Christmas but I want to do other things too. 

I still have lots of work to complete, clients to serve and planning to do for 2019. That is how I can make a difference. I can also have a carpet picnic with my son and my man that they love any day of the week- our best day of the year doesn't have to be the 25th December. With a death in the family last week, there will definitely be more reflection this year. 

Judging another woman about her Christmas prep is one way we will all stay small. Due to societal pressure we will convince ourselves that we are behind, imperfect, disorganised or a shambles. We are not. There is plenty for time... until Christmas and for what we want to do. I doubt these three women would have asked this question to men. 

When we get caught in this cycle of worthiness being equal to perfection, this is when we don’t progress. We don’t launch the business, make the move, write what’s on your heart or do the things we really want to do. 

We get trapped in busyness, overwhelm, small talk and looking side to side instead of what’s in front of us.


I’m sure those who asked did so as a simple conversation starter. Or maybe they didn’t. Either way it made me think.



Podcast: 'Getting visible and facing your fear about putting your business/face on the internet' | Mini Episode Seven

Since 2012 I have coached over a 1000 people. Talented, skilled, passionate, kind people. When I trained as a coach I learnt methods to help my clients to build a strategy. However there is another huge chunk of the puzzle... the mindset stuff. The imposter syndrome, all the questions, the self doubt, the fear, the judgement, going pro and did I mention ALL THE QUESTIONS. 


I have been to too many panels recently where the experts have just said things like ‘go for it’ or ‘just start’ and I get that. However we are all starting from different places. I trained as an actor and I still find this stuff difficult- putting yourself out there, selling, pitching, pricing, presenting and if you are feeling the same, please know you are not alone. 
I want to help you to do business on your terms. To show up in a way that feels good.