'Finding your why...the heavy stuff and light, fluffy, lovely stuff' | Nicky Raby

What would Beyoncé do? (Maybe)

Beyoncé and I have a long distance relationship... we’ve been in the same room/field twice but the love is strong. One of us maaaay not know who the other is. But that’s ok. 😉

There are always phrases of ‘What would Beyoncé do?’ like it is a quick ‘Ok cool I’ll do that too’ However as it often is I’m sure it will be combination of things... I have tried to dissect the process on why she is in a league of her own...

1. She decided... we all have those moments of ‘no more, enough is enough’ or ‘Let’s do this’ or ‘What have I got to lose?’ Every action begins with a decision. I can’t imagine any of this was a flippant thought. 

2. Got a big vision. She’s not playing any more. She has the platform, money, support, love and talent to build a wonderful vision so she does. 

3. She realised she needed to build a team as she couldn’t do it alone. We may be a company of one but the best find the best to collaborate and grow with. 

4. She charged well.. for now and for later. Get paid now for the performance but also for ownership/producing rights. Savvy. 

5. She gave herself permission to still do what she loved and be a mother. Yes it is tough and you need support to do so but all hopes and dreams don’t end as soon as you give birth. 

6. Moved the needle. I am very interested in this phrase at the moment. I don’t want to be generic and surface. Beyoncé knows the stories that need to be told, the words that perhaps have been unsaid. She says them. 

7. Gave herself more time than normal. Overnight success is not a thing. There are hours of ‘showing up’ behind the scenes. 

8. Gave clear communication. You can’t lead without sharing your vision. There is a great part on the Goop podcast with @brenebrownabout how organisations could do this effectively. 

9. Be humble. Generous, kind, open, loving... you know all those things that are at your core. 

10. Do it like you are the best in the world and show the world what you can do.

What would happen if I became a contestant on Masterchef...

Anyone else a little bit obsessed with Masterchef? I love it. It is brilliant… I am so familiar with it, I almost think I could go on…or maybe not.

In reality, here’s what would happen:

1) I would be immediately outed that I have to use every pot and pan and my knife skills are quite shabby but enthusiastic.

2) I may be so impressed with myself when I made something delicious that I may accidentally eat it all before I served it. ‘Hmmm, yes John and Greg, it WAS nice and I DID balance the flavours beautifully.

3) I may cry if I was shouted out in the kitchen. I can cope with pressure but not when someone is bellowing ‘Come on come on come on’

4) People would know that I stick my tongue out to the side when I am in mega concentration mode…you would see this too when I was placing a tiny cube of beetroot gel onto the plate with tweezers…

Perhaps entry for 2020 may be a little too eager… plus I will have had a baby by then…probably not the best combination.

But in all seriousness, it does make me cook more. I knocked up a pretty great curry yesterday and it welcomed all the smug feels.

Sometimes social media or the media in general can make us assume that all the spots are taken…every idea has been done already, the market is saturated or people have had enough of x, y and z. Or we have to be the best in our field otherwise we can’t do it at all. Not true.

It is unlikely that I am going to be a Masterchef champion but I can still enjoy cooking, eating and improving our skills.

Plus people may be waiting for your flavour.

Over the next few days, I want to set you a challenge. I want to encourage you to make small incremental steps towards improving…

What you improve or focus on is entirely up to you. But the key is not to overwhelm yourself…just start with one thing.

So if you want to improve sales, how could you do this?

If you want to become more consistent, how could you create a process to support this?

If you want to make some bold moves which are out of your comfort zone how could you set yourself up for taking action even though, it feels scary.

You work too hard to just make bills

I have a little story for you today. Last summer I was booked to host a talk at The Townhall Hotel in Shoreditch. It is a beautiful venue if you haven’t been. The room I was speaking in looks like a court room. I wanted to do my best Judge voice and say ‘ALLLL RISE’ or could have said it like the 2001 banger by Blue :) 

It was a hot, sweaty day. My tube got diverted. I had to get on a packed bus. My shoe broke in the middle of a packed, sweaty bus. I had a very un Carrie Bradshaw moment as I had to change my shoes in the street. Then I remembered what a bugger they were to walk in. I tried to channel Ms J. Alexander however... not sure I styled it out. 

I then to walk into a very fancy hotel and talk to a packed room. My intention was to inspire, motivate, educate and make people feel good. I did that but still my broken flip flop was bugging me. 

Making do and saying ‘I didn't mind’ used to be my norm. I would be the first there, the last to leave, I would do free work, I would over deliver and undercharge. I wasn't valued and didn't see my own worth (P.S I have figured out you have to see it in yourself before others do). I would say yes instead of no. I would scrimp on the basics and focus on the little details, instead of investing and growth. 

Now I don't just want to make the minimum. To always be just about making do.

The thing is I have invested thousands into my own training and expertise. However it always comes back to the way we value ourselves. I have had clients who have been internationally famous, who have three degrees, who are recognised as an expert in their field but still doubt whether they can charge for their services or whether they should just give them away or whether they have anything of value to share. 

In the taxi home, I reminded myself that the 'old me' would have got four buses, a walk, two trains and tube home... because I thought taxis were wasteful. Now I switched into growth, I understand the small details I need in order to do what I want to do. 

By getting a taxi I was home in 20 minutes...not an hour and ten, waiting at a cold bus stop. We are always awake early in our house and I need not to feel absolutely exhausted so I can do what I need to do the next day. I love TFL but also know when I need to get home speedily. 

Ultimately even though I thought the 'minimum' was enough and it was ok to make do, it wasn’t.

So I have a few questions for you to ponder: 

Where are you over delivering to everyone else but under delivering to yourself? 

What do you consistently give away when you know you should charge? 

What incremental changes would make all the difference and allow you to be the person you want to be in the world? 

Where do you say you are underserving or ‘it doesn’t matter’ or ‘it will do for now’ 

When I work with clients I cover three main pillars; vision, strategy and mindset. The three have to go hand in hand. Moving to the next level take courage, commitment, a plan, a purpose and big old of slice of trust. 

A little sign I needed a declutter and I was going to the next level...

So I think I am amongst friends and you won’t judge me too much…or will you? :)

This isn’t my desk on a day to day basis…I emptied all the drawers and had a good look at all the madness I was holding onto…

As I have spoken about before, I am really feeling a step up in my business at the moment. There is so much I want to do in business and in life and I can’t do all the things if everything isn’t aligned…

I know that sounds dippy hippy but bear with me.

I am a big believer in making space for the next chapter.

For example you can’t buy a whopping great sofa and shove it in a packed living room and expect it to thrive. You have to remove the old one…maybe move stuff around or mix it up.

Here are some of the things I found:

• An old school report. It wasn’t bad at all but very dated (obviously). Plus Mr Bowen’s analysis of my netball technique doesn’t need to be in view when I am recording a podcast.

• Two boxes of matches…I love lighting candles but definitely don’t need over a 100 to get the Monday party started.

• Old technology…wires…devices…who knows what they are or how old they are. Time to move them on. I have great techonology that I have invested in so I need to enjoy that.

What’s on your declutter list? Where are you stepping things up?

I'm a big geek and a big rebel

I’m a big geek and a big rebel all at the same time. 

I am ace at the Countdown numbers. Even when the big number is 75

I have a weird and extensive knowledge of the TFL network…if you are ever drunk and lost at 2am, call me- I will direct you onto the right bus. 

I love ironing. 

I have folders for everything. 

I rub out unnecessary apostrophes on pub chalk boards. 

I have been known to borrow a pen to add one in if required. 

I don’t subscribe to age requirements…by the time I am x…I have to be y. I will be that poem, the old woman who wears purple…

I have invented my own job as I knew I wasn’t suited to one that already existed.

I can get deep really quickly. There are so many people I have met at weddings, airports, in waiting rooms and at conferences that I know waaay too much stuff about but have no idea where they live or which motorway they came on. 

I think about my green Doc Martens a lot. 

And as for Blue Monday or other social calendar date that puts an odd societal pressure on things, I’m not into. Rarely has the ‘best night ever’ been on New Year’s Eve. I really like Mondays. Sometimes I want to have a bath, read a book and get an early night on a Friday night. Sometimes I want to get really drunk on a Wednesday date night. 

January is a time of limbo. We are all desperate for some light and warmth on our faces- even I am saying that as a ginger, pale person. We know we are supposed to be working on our big, bold 2019 goals but the cold weather is suggesting otherwise. ‘Come my sweet friend, it is warm under here in this cloud like duvet’. 

I know I am in a small percentage of people who don’t get the appeal of pancakes. Nor Yorkshire puddings. Too spongy. Too rubbery. On Shrove Tuesday, I will probably be having a lasagna. 

Basically it is all about what works for you…if you are springy in January, spring. If now is your hibernation time, use it wisely and set some deadlines. 

If setting yearly goals is too overwhelming, set 6 monthly goals. Or monthly or weekly or daily. Just get clear on what feels good. Most of our bills are paid at the end of the month and sometimes that is a great time for me to set the next round of goals for the following month. It makes it real. 

Podcast: Interview with Esther Blum

Interview with Annie Ross, Founder of Team 52

Did you catch my latest episode with Annie from @team52challenge We met when we were both speaking at @stylistlive 
This is a really uplifting and motivating one- perfect for a cold January morning.

PODCAST: '10 Practical ways to get into creative mode without self doubt and procrastination' Mini Episode Seventeen

New podcast episode 🎧

I loved making this one. At this time of year, we can all feel a pressure to do more and be more. For me to gain clarity I need quiet time. I have never done an assault course in my life as it would be make me cry as I hate being bellowed at. For me to do my best work I have to slow down. 
There are ten practical steps. I hope you find them useful.